The beloved church I grew up in seemed to be more about what we stood against,  rather than what we stood for. It seemed we were more condemned for doing the wrong thing than encouraged to do the right thing.

Years later, I've realized that some of those "wrong" things weren't so wrong afterall. Turns out some of the rules were added on. Being judged hurts and the judgers get puffed up with a false sense of self-righteousness. It's a lose-lose.

Inform rather than enforce, that's that mindset we are encouraged to have at work. I'm sure we've all seen flight attendants that seem a little over zealous in their enforcement of the rules. They practically storm through the cabin, their eyes darting back and forth ready to pounce on the slightest infraction, even adding new rules of their own.

I was following (uselessly) behind just such an "enforcer" when she stopped at a row for no apparent reason. The passenger at the window seat was sleeping, completely oblivious to the fact that he was in violation of an FAA rule and regulation (and sadly, so was I). His seat back was in its upright and locked position, the tray table stowed, luggage stowed completely underneath the seat in front of him, electronic devices turned off...still, she was determined to wake him up and set him straight.

"Sir! Sir! Your window shade needs to be completely open."

He awakened with a blank look on his face, looking surprised that his window shade was even under his jurisdiction. He continued to stare at it dazedly until finally the guy on the aisle reached over and slammed the sliver of shade that was showing back into the slot and we were able to move on.

And pity the poor soul that has the audacity to jump up and use the lav after the boarding door has been closed. The "enforcer" flight attendant can't get on her P.A. fast enough, "Ladies and gentlemen, we are ready to depart, HOWEVER, we cannot do so until everyone is in their seat with their seat belt fastened."

Of course, at this point all the other passengers are cranking their heads around,eager to identify the inconsiderate clown that is delaying their flight. As much as the rule breaker would now like to stay in the lav, he eventually slinks out with his head down, doing his best to ignore the accusing, disdainful stares of his fellow passengers. Inevitably, we don't leave the gate for another ten minutes or so while they finish loading bags or some such and we end up mortifying the poor guy for no good reason.

It's not just the flight attendants that are concerned about the rule breakers, the passengers get just about as worked up when they think we've overlooked an offense. I was in the middle of the cabin doing my demonstration, when a man frantically began pointing out that another passenger was still using his cell phone. Nodding my acknowledgement of the fact, but intending to finish up the demo before attending to it was not good enough for this guy and he said accusingly, "You don't even care!"

Apparently, the only thing that would satisfy this guy was for me to stop everything and recognize that if it were not for his vigilance, and my quick response, we would not have been able to taxi safely to the runway. And of course, he expected my to profusely thank him for his "policing."

Recently a mature Christian asked us if we knew what Jesus taught about judging. Always wanting to be the star pupil with all the right answers, I racked my brain trying to remember all that Jesus had said about it...let's see, there's the whole plank in your eye thing, the lest ye be judged thing...

"Don't do it," he interrupted my little reverie, "that's what Jesus teaches. Don't do it. We're not equipped to judge. We don't have all the facts and we can't see inside hearts."

I've been reminded of that a lot in recent months. So simple. Just don't do it. A win-win.