A long time ago I heard a pastor share an interesting biblical fact about fear: God's commandment for us to "fear not" is second only to "praise Him" in how often it is repeated throughout scripture. God knew what nervous ninnies we were going to be and has tried to calm us down ever since. From Genesis to Revelation He has implored us to remain calm..."fear not, for I am with you" (Gen. 26:24), "do not worry" (Mt. 6:25), "do not let your hearts be troubled" (Jn. 14:1), "be anxious for nothing" (Phil. 4:6), "cast all your cares on Him" (1 Pet. 5:17), "do not be afraid" (Rev. 2:10)... these words and hundreds of others like them are found throughout the Bible. In the Old Testament those tiresome Israelites had no sooner witnessed fresh water gush out of a rock and food fall from the sky than they were back to their moaning and groaning, worried once again that God was going to let them die of hunger and thirst in the desert. We're no different. Regardless of how many times God has faithfully delivered us from our fears and difficulties, we always find something to be fearful about.

I googled phobia and literally hundreds of different phobias came up. We even have a phobia about having phobias...phobophobic. I personally am deathly afraid of mice. I know how ridiculously irrational this is. I know they're equally terrified of me and try their best to escape me with their horrifyingly speedy maneuvers. Apparently I didn't start out being afraid of them. When I was six years old I managed to catch one with my bare hands (the hair on the back of my neck is standing up just thinking about it). I was proud of my hunting prowess and carried it into the house to show my mom. When she realized I actually had a live mouse in my hands it filled her with such abject terror that she started screaming. She scared me so bad that I started screaming right along with her. What had possessed me to catch this wicked little creature that had the power to reduce my mom to this disturbed, screaming barbarian that was threatening to kill me (kill me!) if I dropped it in the house? Evidently, I took her death threat seriously because I managed to keep it in my hands (running and screaming the whole time) until I could throw it outside and quickly slam the door shut behind me. I ran back to my mom and we held each other and cried until it all just seemed like a bad dream.

Fear mongering is big business. There are people at work that think if they look sideways at the wrong person they'll be fired. Everyone is out to get someone and nothing can be taken at face value. Fear is a powerful tool that is routinely used to make us buy things, say things, do things and accept things that we never would otherwise. No wonder God deemed it necessary to tell us hundreds of times and in hundreds of ways to "fear not".

Our government has trotted out their own two words meant to comfort: federal bailout. They are employing their own horrifyingly speedy maneuvers to spend all the money they can beg, borrow, steal or print and frankly, it is all getting kind of...scary.

"But God is still on His throne,
And He will remember His own;
Tho' trials may press us and burdens distress us,
He will never leave us alone..."

Today (finally!) is Michigan at its finest. The sky is blue, the sun is shining brightly, the air is warm, the birds are singing...and I'm blessed enough to be home to enjoy it! The exhilaration we Michiganders feel at the first blush of spring is almost worth enduring the long, dreary winters.

I flew this morning. God allowed me to work with a sweet Christian who I haven't had the pleasure of flying with in a long time. It was great to catch up and exchange prayer requests in the brief time we had. Two uneventful flights, full of apparently sleep deprived passengers and an early arrival back into Detroit. It doesn't get much better than that.

When I got home I couldn't get my uniform off fast enough and into my outdoor pajamas. I grabbed my MP3 player and walked up to the library. My friend Stacey had recommended a book and I was intent on finding it. I had gone on the library's website and tried to locate it (with no luck) and when I got up there I tried to find it on their computer. Turns out I didn't have the correct spelling of the author, but you would have thought the title would still have done the trick. Giving up, I decided to browse through the Christian book section to see if anything else "caught my eye." I turned down a row I don't normally go down and there (right before my eyes!!) was the book. It was definitely a God thing. I love when God does stuff like that. I can't wait to read it.


"May flowers always line your path, and sunshine light your day, may songbirds serenade you every step along the way..."

Bob pleaded with me to not have Brett. He argued that it was the very last thing we needed. He wouldn't have welcomed the idea of a healthy baby much less one with "issues". At the time he didn't see Brett as a person, but as an obstacle. An obstacle to our new found freedom. Our kids had reached the age of self-sufficiency. We were now free to travel, to go out on dates, to sleep in, to spend our time however we chose to spend it. "It" would be an obstacle to all of this and much more. It was an obstacle that was removable. A removal that many thought reasonable.

I was unwavering in my conviction that God had allowed this pregnancy to evolve despite the unbelievable odds to the contrary. I feared hearing "you're the one that insisted on having him..." But God had another plan. Bob has never had trouble sleeping. He falls asleep immediately and sleeps as soundly as the dead. So it was highly unusual for him to be awakened in the middle of the night with a Bible verse reverberating through his mind...Proverbs 6:17, Proverbs 6:17. He wasn't familiar with the passage, but it started bothering him so much he decided to get up and look it up. The words leaped out at him: "God hates the shedding of innocent blood."

He was shaken by the words he read that night, moved to tears, in fact. From that moment on he was convinced that God meant for us to have Brett and that we were meant to face it together. I am thankful God intervened so dramatically to change Bob's heart and mind about Brett. I am thankful for God's faithfulness and His continuous supply of grace to handle each new challenge.

Sometimes I think the word "grace" gets bandied about too easily. I read an acrostic once that I liked and it has stuck with me: God's Riches At Christ's Expense. And what an expense that was! Part of God's riches include the strength to handle the really tough stuff that comes our way but I don't believe we're given that grace until we need it. Oddly enough, I had always feared having a severely impaired child, sure that it was something I could not handle. However, God has promised that His grace will be sufficient, that His power is made perfect in our weakness (2 Cor. 12:9).