A few weeks ago I had lunch with some of my cousins, one of which I hadn’t seen since I was a little girl--what a gift it was to catch up! Our common bond was my Gramma Huber and in the days following our lunch, memories of her flooded my mind.

She didn’t have an easy life. As a little girl, I remember thinking it wasn’t fair that my Grandma Cummins seemed to be living the life of Riley while my Gramma Huber struggled in every aspect of her life.  

I never knew my Grandfather Huber when he was well. I can only remember him sitting in his chair, unable to do anything on his own, relying on Gramma to meet his every need 24/7. 

My mom often said how much she wished I could have known my grandfather before he got sick. My mom’s parents had been close to my dad’s parents, so she knew and loved him well and thought he was one of the funniest people she’d ever met.

When my grandfather first started showing signs of his illness, he would wander out of the house, sometimes forgetting how to get home. After he wandered out one night, my gramma called my dad to come help her find him.

Shortly after my dad arrived, my grandfather strolled in.

My gramma tore into him, “Clifford! Where in the world have you been? I’ve been worried sick about you!”

“Tomcatting around,” he answered with a smile.

My dad roared with laughter. He loved that story. 

After my grandfather died, I spent many nights at Gramma’s house. It seemed she was always on a diet. I told her that once you're a Gramma you shouldn’t have to worry about your weight. 

“When I become a gramma, I’m gonna eat whatever I want and not care one whit how fat I get.”

She laughed, “Oh, you’ll care.” 

And, of course she was right.

I remember her sitting in her chair with a little mirror, plucking her whiskers.

“Why do you think you grew those whiskers?” I’d ask.

“Just wait. You’ll grow them, too.”

I highly doubted that. Not only was my other grandma living on easy street, I was sure she didn't have any whiskers either. It just wasn’t fair!

In spite of her tough life, my gramma laughed easily and often and I never doubted she delighted in my company, and I delighted in hers. She was a wonderful gramma and I have her to thank for raising my beloved dad to be the most loving husband and father a girl could ever ask for. I just wished I’d soaked up more of her hard earned wisdom, I wish I knew more about what made her the strong, faithful woman she was. 

I read a post on Facebook today that perfectly captures what I’m feeling today.

“When the elderly die, a library is lost and volumes of wisdom and knowledge are gone.”

Sad, but so powerfully true.

I’ve never been more thankful for my job than I am today. It’s the only reason I’m able to see the kids as much as I do. I've ALWAYS been over-the-top thankful for the ability to fly for free and visit my family members frequently. They are spread across the country and we would never be able to afford monthly, or even bi-monthly, visits if not for my flying benefits. And now that I have grandchildren…Oh. My. Word! I can’t get enough of them. 

I’ve lived my whole life blissfully unconcerned about germs, so it has taken real discipline on my part to be very mindful of arriving to Caitlin’s as germ-free as humanly possible. Me! Who used to think arriving clean was a feat.

Back in December, when Caitlin and I came home from the hospital with Maisie, she (understandably!) wanted me to strip down and jump in the shower. She laundered every scrap of my clothing. Unfortunately, she shrunk my pants. I could have handled going home looking like the seams were about to burst open, but four inches too short? I looked ridiculous. Fortunately, I was able to squeeze myself into a pair of Caitlin’s. They were as tight as a drum, but only two inches too short, so I looked a tad less dorky in them than I did in the germ-free “floods” that emerged from the dryer. 

Every visit I grow more in awe of what a wonderful mother Caitlin is. It’s certainly not from following my lead. It’s only by the grace of God that Caitlin and Dane made it safely to adulthood.

Caitlin makes Brooks healthy, homemade meals, using organic, wholesome food, with lots of vitamin packed vegetables. Contrast that to Caitlin and Dane’s standard fare—Chuck E. Cheese and McDonald’s.

A few weeks ago I watched her as she prepared Brooks’ lunch. She began sautéing vegetables. I watched him, hungrily anticipating his meal.

“Mmmm, onions!”  It was palpable how eager he was to get at those onions.

As soon as she put some in his bowl, he slurped them down like my kids used to slurp down gummy worms. 

She slathered a generous amount of butter on warm toast and placed it on his plate, too, but nope, “More onions, please!”

Surely there isn’t a child on the planet who eats healthier than Brooks! He absolutely loves vegetables. The only teensy problem is is that vegetables aren’t very calorie dense, so he’s not gaining as much weight as they’d like.

When Bob and I were visiting last weekend, Caitlin and Cam told us a funny story about some of the pitfalls of Brooks’ ultra healthy cravings.

In their desire to get more calories in him they pleaded with him to eat a bowl of Puffkin’s for breakfast. He would have none of it, demanding carrots instead.

“You can have carrots after you eat your Puffkin’s,” they promised.

 What I wouldn’t give to crave carrots and celery above all else.

Watching Caitlin’s due diligence in every aspect of her mothering, I can’t help but compare it to my own mothering and how far I fell short. But by God’s glorious grace, the kids grew up not only with strong, healthy bodies but they both love the Lord with all their heart and nothing, nothing gives me more joy than knowing that.

I have to admit, as I’ve been writing, the words to this hymn have run on a constant loop in my mind:

                                 

                                                  “Grace, grace, God's grace,

                                        Grace that will pardon and cleanse within;

                                                    Grace, grace, God's Grace,   

                                          Grace that is greater than all our sin."                                                                      

   

Oh, the comfort of knowing God’s grace is greater than all my mistakes and shortcomings. It is only through Him that I’ve achieved any thing at all.