I bought the "One Year Bible" several years ago with the intention of, you know, reading it in one year. Unfortunately, I didn't achieve my goal. From the first verse I started counting how many times the Bible tells us not to be afraid. The number reached well into the hundreds before I was even halfway through. Every time an angel appeared with a message for someone, the angel's first words were always "fear not." Understandably! If an angelic being suddenly appeared in front of me, I doubt a "fear not" would be enough to stop the screaming. God knew what scaredy-cats we were going to be and how fear would be used to immobilize us and make us buy all sorts of things we don't need.

About 25 or 30 years ago I was walking through the "aisles of beauty" at Hudson's. The Estee Lauder counter had some kind of machine that you could look into to that supposedly gave you an idea of what you'd look like in 25 years. I couldn't resist looking into it and was justifiably horrified at the image looking back at me. Though it was frightening, it didn't scare me enough to stay out of the sun (or buy the age protecting product they were hawking). Consequently the multi-spotted image I saw that day is pretty much what I see in the mirror today.

One of the reasons I chose not to stay out of the sun was because I felt it was too late, the damage had been done. Sunscreen was unheard of when I was little. We belonged to a swim club and it was not unusual for us to be dropped off for the day. Our summers involved multiple peelings, even contests to see who could peel off the biggest piece. I remember one day we were dropped off because my mom and aunt were going to be canning all day. It didn't look like the greatest day to spend at the pool, but Mom assured us it was supposed to clear up. It didn't clear up, the sky turned green, the wind whipped up and tornado sirens started going off, yet still... no one came to get us. The lifeguards were less than enthused that they were forced to stay with us. My older brother was particularly annoyed, commenting that "you'd think reports of tornadoes touching down might clue Mom in to the fact that we're no longer having a good time here."

The tornado warnings weren't what scared me the most. What I feared the most was the PRESSURE COOKER! The dreaded pressure cooker that was only brought out for canning. I didn't even know what a pressure cooker was (I still don't), but my mom put the fear of God in us about that thing. It was so dangerous it was really best if we weren't even in the house when they used it. The slightest misstep could blow us all to kingdom come! I was terrified that the thing had finally blown and we wouldn't be picked up at all. I was never so relieved to see our old station wagon fish-tailing around the corner, with my mom screaming at us to hop in as quickly as possible.

There are literally hundreds of phobias. I used to question the very faith of those that are afraid of flying. To be fair, most would say it's not the flying they are afraid of but rather...the crashing. Don't these people realize that they are not in control? That when it's their time it really doesn't matter where they are, or how they chose to get there? Thinking about my own irrational fears has humbled me and made me realize that all of our fears involve some degree of faithlessness. In spite of all God's assurances, we still needlessly worry and fret about things we have zero control over. How freeing it would be to take God at His word and "not worry about tomorrow" (Matt. 6: 34), trusting that our days truly are "in His hands" (Psalm 31:15).

Do you ever have days where you're just not "feeling the love"? I confess I have more of those days than I care to admit.

Those days where the slightest traffic delay or people taking a little too long to answer my questions get on my last nerve. Despite my impatience on the road, I've shown remarkable restraint with my car horn, I can count on two hands how many times I've actually used it (possibly because a friend's accidental beep once caused a skittish Japanese lady to dart out into traffic and almost cause a horrific accident).

But, I kid you not, those few times that I did blow my horn I've ended up feeling like a total loser. One time I couldn't see why traffic had come to a stop and blew my horn in frustration. As I got closer, I realized everyone had stopped because a mother duck was leisurely waddling across the street with what seemed like 30 ducklings behind her.

Another time I was irritated that the cars in front of me weren't turning right on red. Don't those morons realize they can turn right on red? As I got closer, I saw a little old woman painstakingly crossing the street with two grocery bags hanging from her walker. Talk about wanting to slink behind the wheel and disappear!

Another time, cars were driving ever so slowly by what looked like a dead animal in the road. What's wrong with these people? Is this the first time they've ever seen such a thing? As I passed slowly by, I saw that there was a dead duck lying in the street but its live mate was sitting beside it. I know ducks mate for life so that sad little image haunted me for weeks.

At work, one of my biggest pet peeves is passengers not removing their headsets when I get to their row. Practice your lip reading on your own time, buddy! When they do take them off they wonder what I said. Are you kidding me?? What do you think I'm asking you...if you've heard a good joke lately? The really aggravating ones tell me what they want to drink, put their headsets right back on and then we go through the whole rigmarol again to find out if they want peanuts, pretzels or cookies. Come on people, it's not like you've never seen this routine before.

I actually considered doing a weekly blog featuring those I deem to be the jerk of the week. There would be so many contenders! Something small, like telling me to smile, could rocket them to the top of my list.

Fortunately I decided focusing on the negative wouldn't be as healthy as focusing on the positive. I've been humbled too many times in my impatience and irritation by the genuine goodness of people, the grateful and happy ones that often don't appear to have anything to be happy about.

I'll probably always have days that I really struggle to feel the love, but God will continue to humble me with positive examples of goodness... reminding me that there are a lot of good people out there that fortunately, are feeling the love.