I'm sure we've all heard it said that perception is reality, but I wonder how often we unwittingly have the wrong perception and thus the wrong reality.

We went through a really rough stretch with Brett. He would inexplicably start screaming and the only thing that would calm him down was a ride in the car. Inevitably,  these episodes happen in the middle of the night.

Night after night, an exhausted, disheveled Bob would bundle Brett up for their nightly car ride. He got in the habit of driving up to Taco Bell and ordering a taco and a Pepsi. He said he was sure the teenager working the night shift thought he was a horrible, negligent father (or more likely grandfather, since Bob's once black hair is now completely white). Just a drunk needing a taco fix after a drinking binge, completely unmindful of his innocent young son slumped over in the back seat, sound asleep.

If that teenager did think that (and who could blame him?), isn't it sad how wrong his perception was? Instead of his eyes being bloodshot from too much alcohol, my husband's eyes were red and watery because he genuinely ached for our son, who has no way of letting us know what was wrong with him. He had no way of knowing that Bob, far from trying to stave off a wicked hangover, had been using his drive time to pray unceasingly for God to comfort Brett, to take away whatever was keeping him from getting his much needed sleep. He had no way of knowing that far from being a negligent, horrible father, he is the most tenderhearted and devoted father I know.

When Brett was in the neonatal intensive care unit, a young man came in covered in tattoos with a face full of piercings. He'd go straight to the corner of the nursery, pull up a chair and drape himself over a tiny baby in an incubator.  I never saw that baby move, but that young man was there every single day.

Sadly, I know if I would have seen him in any other environment, I would have judged him as odd, incapable of the selfless dedication he exhibited. How wrong I would have been! We're so good at finding the flaws and oddness in others, but God doesn't call on us to judge others. Only God sees hearts and motives. May God give us His eyes to see beyond outward appearances and to extend the unconditional grace and love He offers us regardless of how we perceive them.